A Duck-Billed Platypus is not a Duck!

 

19. 

30/03/2009

Pigorilla Power!

The water is like glass today and to add to the magic, a small family of Dolphins were waving flippers at me while I ate breakfast. At first I thought it was just another flashback from my clubbing days, but then another fin and the wave of a tail confirmed that my strawberry yoghurt, Blackberries, Blueberries and grape-fruit were not going to be my only highlight of the morning.

Another splendid part of the morning was the drought being broken on my classes. I had three spritely wannabe students turn up for my “Computers for the Terrified” class. There are three classes to the course and it went as smoothly as soft butter spreading on a toasted croissant. What a shame there were only three of them, but I’ll at least keep my job if I keep that up. It’s good to get my sense of value back...even if the price tag is looking somewhat like I’m part of a closing down sale.

I have decided that smoking is a dangerous way to put nicotine into my system when there are so many other methods available. I prefer chewing gum, because I like the idea of a rush into my system rather than a pad that slowly feeds you nicotine. After three pharmacies in Acapulco and a very tired jaw from trying to imitate chewing like a cow chewing grass followed by a finger drawn across my throat and then two fingers put to my lips to show that I was trying to stop smoking and needed nicotine chewing gum, I finally found one that produced a box of Nicorettes. My miming days had never felt so close and I was grateful I hadn’t lost my touch. You can imagine when the next time that I was craving a cigarette on Aurora, I whipped out my box to expose the seven patches within! Not to mention the price, it is an otherwise unacceptable way to take nicotine. I am busy trying to sell them to some of the staff on board that prefers not to smoke because it hurts their throat and makes them cough. If they take the patches for long enough the coughing and spluttering of smoking will seem like a small price due to the cheaper method of getting the nicotine into your system that smoking offers.

Mrs Edge, the blind lady that I am teaching to use a lap top has booked her first private lesson for 2pm today so that should be interesting, despite being more or less futile. I don’t have the heart to tell her so will do my absolute best to bring the lap-top to life.

Increasingly, I am getting people wishing me well and telling me how much that they are enjoying “The Pig”.....well, had you read the first edition of “Pigorilla Power!”, you would know that it is not a PIG, it is a Pigorilla, and the Pigorilla prides itself on being more like a Gorilla that looks like a Pig, rather than just a Pig, or a Gorilla looking Pig so thanks for the kind words, but let’s try and remember that we are talking about an entirely separate species, very similar to a Duck-Billed Platypus....It’s not a duck!