Are you not Entertained?

9. 

20/03/2009

Pigorilla Power!

Well, my fellow Pigorillians.....forgive me for stealing a little idea from American Express:-

$99.00 for a pair of cycling shorts

$15.00 for the labour for a new back cog on my bike

$30.00 for two “Hawaii” cycling caps

To see Honolulu for free for a day while travelling around the world on a Super-Liner......Priceless!

What a wonderful day....not even, actually....just an afternoon, but the island is full of energy and it was a wonderful experience. I hopped on my bicycle and headed off along the coast towards Waikiki beach. It’s such a pleasure being in the last several ports we’ve visited...straight forward English gets you directions, smiles, friends and genuine willingness to help. While cruising the Med and the Baltic, one gets the impression that you might as well be speaking to all the Knuckle-Heads in Braille!

My first stop was at a bicycle shop as I had shredded two teeth off my back cog.....the first one didn’t have a cog and nor did the second one, but they removed one from another bike for me. Just when my cynical brain was beginning to see the dollar signs in their eyes, they said that they were not going to charge me for the cog, but it would be $15.00 labour....now that’s the kinda deal that appeals to me! I was so grateful that I was going to buy a Hawaii cycling shirt, but they didn’t have my size so I ended up going to the original shop and overspending (not for the item...for my budget) on some cycling shorts and a couple of well ventilated caps. After some comments on Facebook about the fit of my shorts, I thought I’d better have a look at what’s out there and these are more of the same Mr O’Connor. Sorry.

As for Americans, (yes....Hawaiians are Americans....we had drills all morning and the US Coast Guard and Immigration were also on board to grant us shore leave),  I think that people that judge Americans by seeing travelling Americans and their often loud, brash nature just are not well travelled enough themselves. Put me on a ship of Americans any day. I appreciate many English people and am grateful for their thoughts and assistance at times (some of them consistently so), but there are times on a ship and in the UK when suicide seems like nothing but an honourable way out of an untenable situation.

A power climb up to the closest volcano brought me to a lovely lady who needed a dollar for me to go up to the top of the stairs (several hundred of them) to see a view that I would have been upset to miss with hindsight. A dollar was way more than I was carrying and the offer of a credit card was unappreciated. I managed to fall back on the lady’s good nature and was ushered through the boom.

 

 

 

 

Standing on the top of Diamond Head (also known as Mount Leahi) was an exhilarating experience with Honolulu down below and the crystal clear water covering the reefs that I had peered at with envious admiration thousands of times before while reading “Surfer” and “Surfing” magazine all through my youth with the stunning reef breaks that created legends all along the North Shore during the winter months. Names like Gerry Lopez and Wayne “Rabbit” Bartholomew spring to mind. Such a cathartic experience....finally seeing all these places that meant so much to me as a child. Bob Marley’s homes in Jamaica, the pyramids, the North Shore....we all have these places we must see, but often don’t.

At times, they are not places; they are situations that we have to be in....often the ones that we would most fear to experience....so much so that our subconscious brain doesn’t even allow us to contemplate them. So often, the cliché’s that roll off our tongues are never quite understood until we really understand. Too often, they seem like the right thing to say or a clever way to finish something off. Well if it doesn’t kill you, it’ll make you stronger. That’s all very well, but how much stronger am I supposed to get? Can’t I just sit back and enjoy the ride....have I not climbed enough??? Hill after hill....valley after valley....sure....there are some great views along the way, but is that what this is all about??? No-one appreciates a great view better than I, but are the views supposed to counteract all of the other bull-shit with equal force??? Hey, my imagination is pretty damn good, Buddy, but it’s not that damn good....there has to be more!!!! I can see my dear Christian mates lining up that cross to jam it down my throat, but hey....not so quick....I’d carry that one for you too, if I didn’t have this yoke around my neck and a sled with all the guilt heaped on it that I’ve been carrying around since Sunday School for someone having had to die for my sins! Not to mention a mother that genuinely believed the Lord was the best fellow to cure cancer. I’m sorry my incredulity at hearing her thoughts on this was not just the ill-founded ignorance of a nine year old boy. I guess that’s the sort of thing they’re talking about when they say, “I learnt the hard way”.

 I appreciate that the Lord works in strange ways, but give me Russell Crowe in “Gladiator” any day.... “Are you not entertained!?!” Now that is a great scene! If you haven’t seen the movie, watch it for the purpose of seeing so many human emotions being encapsulate in one film.....jealousy, love, hatred, betrayal, life, death, power, good, kindness, evil.....it’s all there.....or watch it just to see the scene to which I refer, where he enquires if they have not achieved their goal of ultimate entertainment, despite the wrong person remaining alive.......light-hearted funny humour is great, but humour that has been twisted by the dark side to the point where your belly is on fire with huge raucous gasps is truly good for you..... unfortunately, you will see neither of that humour in “Gladiator”.....understandably.......it’s not a funny story.....most of the things we laugh at are just things that actually happened which were not very pleasant, that we are now seeing in a lighter hue to a point where we can laugh at them....looks like the laugh is on us as we head into the final straight, huh? Looks like we’re gonna have to pick up the pace to save face. Life is short, but it’s the longest thing we’re ever gonna have, so hopefully the Pigorillians will prosper yet.  God willing, of course.

You may know Sir Henry Wotton’s description of the happy man, which ends:

This man is freed from servile bands

Of hope to rise or fear to fall,

Lord of himself, though not of lands,

And having nothing yet hath all.    

 

I can tell you what I have to say (I accept that my word may not get the same level of admiration as the works of my learned colleague, the honourable knight may have achieved)......... “Whatever”.