26 September 2009 The beauty and the splendour of having simultaneous multiple personalities is that one could view the same moment in a different light to be dealt with in several different ways while experiencing the outcome and, in turn, dealing with it. The result would then help strengthen the rest of your selves. As it turns out, most of us are stuck with just one self, leaving a multitude of mistakes that often instil a lack of confidence rather than the benefit of experience. Eventually, with a little luck, and some longevity thrown in, it inevitably all fits together and there is a period towards the latter part of your life where the benefits of knowledge are reaped. It does seem like a long way of going about things to me. Most people have probably read the story of how Woody Allen would like to live his next life, and I must say it has a fair amount of merit. “In my next life I want to live my life backwards. You start out dead and get that out of the way. Then you wake up in an old people’s home feeling better every day. You get kicked out for being too healthy, go collect your pension and then, when you start work, you get a gold watch and a party on your first day. You work for 40 years until you’re young enough to enjoy your retirement. You party, drink alcohol and are generally promiscuous and then you are ready for high school. You then go to primary school, you become a kid and you play. You have no responsibilities; you become a baby until you are born; and then you spend your last 9 months floating in luxurious spa-like conditions with central heating and room service on tap, larger quarters every day and then….. Voila! You finish off as an orgasm! I rest my case.” London is up and down with the weather playing God with every ones temperament. As a result of this there have been some very upbeat, beautiful days with crystal clear skies, bright sunshine, crisp mornings and prancing deer in Richmond Park, which has become my back garden and my respite from the darkness of my room where I curdle my thoughts with damp solitude and solid pessimism. A friend was asking only this morning if a pessimist was not just an experienced optimist. I was afraid so. Life and all its turmoil had better show me some point to it all at some point, because I definitely am applying myself to the search quite dogmatically and all I can dig out of it all so far is consistent depression with a smattering of jubilation caused by the fortunate ability to escape from reality every so often....more recently, less often. I even gave my favourite Christian friend a shot at recruiting me when I promised to watch (and did) a Christian DVD (Rob Bell-Everything is Spiritual). In return, he was to read “The God Delusion” by Richard Dawkins which is a very well laid out book about the unlikelihood of there being a God as the religious sects understand God to exist. It points out that it is very difficult to believe if one were to rely on any kind of scientific factual evidence. I have often said that if you can make yourself happy by believing in anything that doesn’t harm others and increases ones faith and hope in the future then that has got to be worthwhile. The majority of the surveys regarding religion and religious belief shows that those who believe (any religion), are more likely to be happier. Well....I don’t believe in any religion at all and I am a fine example of just how unhappy that can make you. I am happy to believe in the Tooth-Fairy if necessary....just bring me the fairy and her teeth....yes, I would like to see her.....oh, I’m asking too much.....oh, ok then, let’s go back to square one and start again. The more I struggle, the more I feel like a child that is being tickled and starts off with squeals of delight and slowly but surely, as the tickling continues; it becomes more painful than anything else. Reliable Interior Projects is my new little business venture in London and it has professional indemnity, business cards, post cards, promotional pens, a bank account, a broad business plan and clientele clamouring for the services that this fine business could offer. A dash of adrenalin, enthusiasm, Joie de Vivre, and some common sense is all that is needed to make it a roaring success....where I’m going to drag any of those from is a place that I have long since forgotten. I am going through the motions of making things happen with the same determination that a swift migrates (perhaps not quite so much determination), and eventually my wings will either snap off or assist me to fly. I am just grateful that the other individuals in the world are not of the same despair that I have become because there is a lot of faith, hope and positivity that is needed to keep this place spinning. Woody is all very well wanting to finish his next life with an orgasm. I’d like mine now please.
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